Three years ago, I hired a life coach because I was miserable and didn't want to feel miserable anymore. Together, we completed a litany of self-help exercises, filling notebooks with my audacious dreams and ideas. One such dream was to open a mountain "hiking hut". Essentially, a bed and breakfast for hikers that enjoy yoga … Continue reading Newsletter #84: No Dream is Trivial
Tag: Purpose
Newsletter #81: Get Better or Get Bitter
In the past four years, I've experienced two once-in-a-lifetime events: 2020 and Hurricane Helene. I also got married, so make that three once-in-a-lifetimers. Maybe your number is higher than mine. In 2020, life got smaller. Less things mattered. Priorities appeared. I started planning my exit from medicine. In 2022 when my wife and I married, … Continue reading Newsletter #81: Get Better or Get Bitter
Newsletter #80: Where Dreams Go to Die
As I watched the month, day, and year flow from my pen's tip, the date's significance clicked. Interrupting my wife as she journaled next to me in bed, I said, "It's been two years since I left medicine." "Wow," she deadpanned, writing on without pause. That's how I felt too: indifferent. My new life isn't … Continue reading Newsletter #80: Where Dreams Go to Die
Newsletter #77: The Moment Before Our Big Shot
During the timeout before a big shot, Michael Jordan would tell himself, "I've been here before." Then, Mike would take the big shot. As I type, Hurricane Helene is barreling toward our home in Western Carolina, bringing along a 1000-year flood. My wife and I haven't experienced a hurricane before, nor twelve inches of rain … Continue reading Newsletter #77: The Moment Before Our Big Shot
Newsletter #75: Out of My Mind
Thankfully, I wasn't always this heady. When I was eighteen, I didn't ask myself if going to the casino was likely to further my search for purpose. No, in any given moment, I did whatever seemed like more fun. Casino in the afternoon? Sure. Volleyball game at midnight? See you then. How about we grab … Continue reading Newsletter #75: Out of My Mind
Newsletter #70: Something Beyond Trying
Up and down these Blue Ridge Mountains, my wife runs like a hybrid jackrabbit and billy goat, darting through the straights and bounding smoothly through the rocks. Mostly, I watch these efforts from behind as I try my damnest to keep her within sight, only succeeding occasionally. After we finish and I consider heaving somewhere … Continue reading Newsletter #70: Something Beyond Trying
No, Really. I Want to Be Here.
“Look at Dr. Fightmaster over there. He doesn’t even want to be a psychiatrist.” I froze. I’d been found out. Then, a wave of fidelity crested and overcame years of hiding, as I replied, “You’re right; I don’t want to be a psychiatrist.”
Can’t Live With It, Can’t Live Without It
I thought it best to leave medicine behind me. It was just an eight year chapter that I wished to never repeat, right? Two years of time has revealed a surprising opposite: I can't survive without it.
Newsletter #67: Enslaved (or Freed?) by My Cat
What is freedom? Where is happiness? Are they my cat's job? In Freudian ego psychology, happiness is found through autonomy. It's the ability to sustain one's own love and nourishment. The target is decreased reliance and increased ego strength. Heinz Kohut believed in autonomy. He lived Freud's ego psychology dogma, becoming a famed psychoanalyst in … Continue reading Newsletter #67: Enslaved (or Freed?) by My Cat
The Eternal Impact of One Choice
As I followed these footsteps, my family members didn't turn around and implore me to take notes. Still, their bravery planted seeds of potential within my heart, and subsequently, I took copious notes. They did what needed to be done, for them. That was all I needed to see... then.
