Something said by Suzanne Rouvier, a character from Somerset Maugham’s The Razor’s Edge, haunts me. A painter’s mistress, Suzanne made a living by posing, and when those artisanal springs stopped flowing, she found the next artist. Living in Paris during the early 1900s, her mix of lanky limbs, fair skin, and bright blue eyes were in … Continue reading Newsletter #143: Once Begun, Better Finish
Tag: Meaning
Newsletter #132: My Chance to Be at Home
In May of 2023, when my wife and I left California for North Carolina, I hoped Asheville would mirror all of my desires, like an AI chatbot of a city that told me everything I wanted to hear, liked the same things as me, and drank the same beer as me. After eight desperate years in medicine, … Continue reading Newsletter #132: My Chance to Be at Home
Newsletter #112: Only One Way to Find Out
It is what it is: I'm a sports guy. Some people appreciate William Blake. Others Tkaikovsky. I have Sam Presti, the Oklahoma City Thunder's general manager (written about here, here, here). His team, my team, is one win away from their first NBA championship. If I didn't write about my team again, right now, it … Continue reading Newsletter #112: Only One Way to Find Out
Newsletter #109: My White Lotus Liberation
It's been a month since I finished White Lotus, Season 3. It's been a month since I started White Lotus, Season 1. Do the math. Not many days. Many episodes. No regrets. Since, I've watched other shows. I've also watched enough NBA playoffs to predict when the next commercial will be a Wingstop commercial. But … Continue reading Newsletter #109: My White Lotus Liberation
A Cat Story: Why We Take the Leap of Faith
Healing is possible with time, sure, but healing takes something far more perilous: a leap of faith. But damn, if life's taught me anything, that risk is nothing compared to its rewards.
Newsletter #75: Out of My Mind
Thankfully, I wasn't always this heady. When I was eighteen, I didn't ask myself if going to the casino was likely to further my search for purpose. No, in any given moment, I did whatever seemed like more fun. Casino in the afternoon? Sure. Volleyball game at midnight? See you then. How about we grab … Continue reading Newsletter #75: Out of My Mind
25 Years Later, I Accept My Type 1 Diabetes Diagnosis
As Kohut said, it's not in absolute autonomy that we find ourselves, but in healthy interdependence. Same goes for my relationship with diabetes, something I could never understand while in denial, but only through acceptance. And of course, diabetes camp was the necessary catalyst.
A First in Many Moons—The Hunt Stops
For the past eight years, I've been afraid to pause, scared to rest, reticent to enjoy. Unconsciously, I knew I couldn’t take that risk. But now, I consciously know I must.
What Does It Mean to Lose?
Failure. Absolute dejection. That's how I classified every loss. Until, that is, I needed to adopt another way to play the game... to be happy.
The Hardest Gift to Give
I went to medical school to keep my family's love. Becoming a psychiatrist expanded my understanding of what love is. I needed to leave medicine to practice true love.
