"Show him the door," my attending said, motioning his arms outwardly like an usher. "What do you mean?" I asked. "The patient's upset with my care. Shouldn't I try to fix it?" "Have you given him the best care you can?" I nodded. For this patient, I'd emptied the pharmacologic cabinet and fired the therapeutic … Continue reading Newsletter #128: Desperation at My Wit’s End
Tag: Purpose
Newsletter #121: The ROI of Our Past
"You poor thing," said my occupational therapist, a woman in her sixties. Dark brown hair. No makeup. Naturally vibrant. "You didn't even get to use all those years of school, all that investment of time and money?" She kept cutting straps for my splint, shaking her head. I'd just shared my life story because I … Continue reading Newsletter #121: The ROI of Our Past
Newsletter #117: Rinse the Chlorine Off, Repeat
I didn't wake up and think, This will be a day I remember forever. I probably woke up and asked my dad to take me to Burger King for a sausage, egg, and cheese Croissan'wich. Because this was summer, this was middle school, this was 2003. Later that night, the setting was suburban. The occasion … Continue reading Newsletter #117: Rinse the Chlorine Off, Repeat
Newsletter #116: Swings at Eternity
"Rhyne! Rhyne!" Of the conceivable pronunciations of my four-letter name, this is my favorite. My neighbor Tamara, more Appalachian than "Wagon Wheel" and sweeter than Western Carolina Ice Tea, waived me over from the edge of her above-ground pool. Having just finished my workday in the shop, I walked her direction across our shared greenbelt. … Continue reading Newsletter #116: Swings at Eternity
Newsletter #111: Turn Off the Lights
While in medicine, I lived—and hunted—across an Alaskan summer. Day or night, I tracked illuminated targets. Guesswork eliminated, I shot well. And ate well. "Why's that so bad?" you might ask. "Isn't success what matters? Why not enjoy the sun? Get a nice tan?" If Where The Red Fern Grows—a book representing 100% of my … Continue reading Newsletter #111: Turn Off the Lights
Newsletter #100: The Wrong Turn to Right
Why did I stay inside medicine for so long? Why didn't I quit after a year? Or two? Or seven? I always knew what I wanted—which was to quit medicine—but I took one wrong turn and kept driving. For eight years. Why?!?!?!? My best guess is that I needed it. I went to medical school … Continue reading Newsletter #100: The Wrong Turn to Right
Newsletter #95: Not Needing to Shave My Head
To become a doctor, it required I study. To study subjects I didn't want to study, it required I mainline coffee until my right eyelid twitched. To obtain a daily caffeine dose capable of curing ADHD, I became a regular at the city's coffee shops. Still, come late afternoon, my attention would beg for relief … Continue reading Newsletter #95: Not Needing to Shave My Head
Newsletter #89: No Villain. No Story.
As a child, I loved Disney movies... if I could edit them. When watching alone, I always fast-forwarded through the scary scenes: when Cruella De Vil kidnaps the puppies, when the villagers attack the Beast's castle, when Jabar becomes Genie's next master. I'd bypass the trepidation, then rejoin when the hero had control again. Turns … Continue reading Newsletter #89: No Villain. No Story.
A Cat Story: Why We Take the Leap of Faith
Healing is possible with time, sure, but healing takes something far more perilous: a leap of faith. But damn, if life's taught me anything, that risk is nothing compared to its rewards.
Newsletter #87: Righting the Ship with Recklessness
In the throes of the most anxious period of my life—third year of medical school—I left my house at dusk to go mountain biking. It was Sunday night, marking the end of my last day off before six more days in the hospital. I had to ride to survive another week. Mountain biking is hazardous … Continue reading Newsletter #87: Righting the Ship with Recklessness
