I'd forgotten this night. My plane touched down in Denver a little past ten, a direct flight from Orange County. I’d watched Southwest’s in-flight entertainment for the duration, seeking decompression. My day had been a long one. Leaving for vacation was always difficult, but this day was particularly arduous. With five minutes to spare, I’d … Continue reading A Lit Match Away from Internal Combustion
“Isn’t this world a mysterious place?” I nodded, smiling back at her in agreement. Just an hour earlier, I sold a dresser to this kind woman, and while I was situating her newly acquired centerpiece into her dining room, she asked if I did restoration work for hire. That I did, I told her. She … Continue reading Humbled by an Afternoon of Mystery
Working on furniture has done more good for my perfectionism than anything else, aside from therapy. Every afternoon, rain or shine, whether I have the necessary supplies or not, I have to figure out the next step. I must get the piece to market. It would appear that I work on furniture. But at any … Continue reading Newsletter #54: Earning Your Answers
At recess, I didn’t like the jungle gym or its imaginary castle games. The monkey bars were boring. I could always get down with the swings—everyone loves the swings—but the jungle gym wasn’t my scene. So, every day, when a ball was available, I played kickball. By the time I left grade school, I graduated … Continue reading Wield the Power of No
“Fighty, we’re all on the long road back to who we were in high school.” I’ve been sixteen, a football player that blasted rap music from his truck with twenty-inch rims. I’ve been twenty-four, a health teacher and vegan evangelist that ran 5Ks every weekend. I’ve been twenty-seven, a medical student that survived on his … Continue reading Before I Learned How Much I Needed to Change
Yesterday as the sun set, I followed GPS directions into a neighborhood tucked between creases of the Blue Ridge Mountains. I instantly adored the place. At the neighborhood’s entrance, there was an empty pond with wooden docks for fishing and barely blooming willows on the banks. Every home was on a half-acre. Every driveway was … Continue reading Sensing, Before Seeing, the Destination
I can’t remember the podcast or the person that said it, but I heard this week that people in the United States are living at the lowest levels of risk since our country’s inception. Why risk it for the biscuit when you have all the biscuits you need?
I simply cannot afford to be cruel to myself any longer, a holdover from my survival in medicine, and hope to create a life I love.
Toward the end our celebratory dinner, my grandpa made eye contact with me and from across the table, mouthed, “I’m so proud of you.” I mouthed back, “Thank you Gramps.” But I was not proud of me. For nine years, that pride would go unrequited.
I've read enough by now to know that this is the best of times. The grind. The way-finding. The devotion. This is what people wish they could go back and relive. I've also lived enough by now to know why this is the best of times. The compromise. The misery. The disintegration. That. I don't … Continue reading Newsletter #46: To Forget Is To Earn Aliveness
