The drive to Children's Hospital was fifteen minutes, just enough time to forge 90 days of blood sugar readings. Pen in hand, riding in the backseat of my parents' car, I'd scribble fabrications into my logbook. 132. 289. 71. 320. 97. 120. 62. 205. 110. When my parents would ask their ten-year-old what he was … Continue reading Newsletter #114: Nowhere to Hide, At Last
Tag: leaving medicine
Newsletter #103: The Unquestioned
Most mornings, I lock my phone into 'Do Not Disturb', shun the news, and generally avoid sound. I want unimpeded clarity. I have one shot to set sail with clarity. Because the morning's tailwind will only last so long. By afternoon, my phone miraculously exits 'Do Not Disturb' and news sneaks into my awareness as … Continue reading Newsletter #103: The Unquestioned
Newsletter #102: Where Capability Meets Its Death
Up to a certain point, cans are more valuable than our cannots. An important can from my early adulthood: learning I can be a teacher. I'd never taught anything, but I learned how. From then on, I knew I could do something I'd never done before. This has been a valuable understanding. Though, past a … Continue reading Newsletter #102: Where Capability Meets Its Death
Newsletter #98: This Ride Isn’t So Fun Anymore
Please, I just want to live at the tip of the spear again. As the projectile of my life flew through the air, I clung to its trailing feathers. The ride wasn't fun anymore; it was thrashing. A return to the spear's tip seemed impossible. So I tried to survive. Once, years before, I'd lived … Continue reading Newsletter #98: This Ride Isn’t So Fun Anymore
Newsletter #97: To Hell in a Handbasket, or…
I wrestled my backpack free from under the seat and unzipped its front. My fingers traced the pocket's compartments, searching for the rounded contour of my AirPods. They found nothing. Except a rock-hard, half-eaten Larabar from trips past. This is gonna be a loooonng cross-country flight. I did have a steaming cup of black coffee … Continue reading Newsletter #97: To Hell in a Handbasket, or…
Newsletter #96: Honesty is the How
"You were a really good psychiatrist; I looked up to you," she said between margarita sips. "I never would have guessed." I guzzled half the lager in my right hand, then said, "Appreciate you saying that, really, but I suppose that says something in itself, right?" We chuckled, took a brief stroll down our shared … Continue reading Newsletter #96: Honesty is the How
Newsletter #95: Not Needing to Shave My Head
To become a doctor, it required I study. To study subjects I didn't want to study, it required I mainline coffee until my right eyelid twitched. To obtain a daily caffeine dose capable of curing ADHD, I became a regular at the city's coffee shops. Still, come late afternoon, my attention would beg for relief … Continue reading Newsletter #95: Not Needing to Shave My Head
Newsletter #94: A Legend If I’ve Ever Met One
Last Saturday night, at the tires of a truck driving too fast, we lost a friend and hero: our neighbor's tuxedo cat, Rainbow Houseboat. That's one hard-to-live-up-to name—given by the neighbor's children—but not only was the name lived up to, it was mythologized as legend. One evening, I watched her stalk a herd of eight … Continue reading Newsletter #94: A Legend If I’ve Ever Met One
Newsletter #93: Do Something. Anything.
After a furniture project finished ahead of schedule Monday, another one fell through entirely on Tuesday. Suddenly, my week was open. Being the end of the month, I didn't like this freedom one bit; I wanted paid work. Bills were being billed. Savings needed saved. Roth's needed Roth'd. Inside this time affluence, two paths appeared: … Continue reading Newsletter #93: Do Something. Anything.
Newsletter #92: Bottom of the Same-Old Hole
During an early session of our work together, my therapist handed me slip of paper printed with Autobiography in 5 Chapters, a poem by Portia Nelson. "How could I do this to myself?" I asked her, ashamed by my recent repeat of a same-old mistake. "I said this would never happen again!" "Just read the … Continue reading Newsletter #92: Bottom of the Same-Old Hole
