I hate conflict; thus, my boundaries have frequently gone unguarded. When someone else is uncomfortable—whether or not I caused their discomfort—I've quickly self-sacrificed. Afterward, I feel a tinge of burning resentment because beneath my automatic response, I didn't really want to help: I had to help. My actions weren't compassionate; they were compulsive, not to … Continue reading Newsletter #91: Bulletproof Boundaries
Tag: career change
Newsletter #90: Wave or Not
To become a surfer, I endured ass-kicking after ass-kicking. Comfortable nowhere, I'd begin my paddle through the breaking waves, seeking safety on the "outside"—the water past where the waves crested. Along this perilous journey, I'd often lose my balance and grip, take a wave to the chin, and find myself buried into the sand. Even … Continue reading Newsletter #90: Wave or Not
Newsletter #89: No Villain. No Story.
As a child, I loved Disney movies... if I could edit them. When watching alone, I always fast-forwarded through the scary scenes: when Cruella De Vil kidnaps the puppies, when the villagers attack the Beast's castle, when Jabar becomes Genie's next master. I'd bypass the trepidation, then rejoin when the hero had control again. Turns … Continue reading Newsletter #89: No Villain. No Story.
Newsletter #88: Ask Not What Life Can Do For You, But…
"In the mood for some light reading, huh?" my wife asked. I chuckled, glancing at the book in my hands: Man's Search for Meaning. Nazi death camps. Torture. Existentialism. Nothing better to calm the senses before bed. For those unacquainted, the author, Viktor Frankl, was an Austrian psychiatrist who endured Nazi concentration camps for three … Continue reading Newsletter #88: Ask Not What Life Can Do For You, But…
A Cat Story: Why We Take the Leap of Faith
Healing is possible with time, sure, but healing takes something far more perilous: a leap of faith. But damn, if life's taught me anything, that risk is nothing compared to its rewards.
Newsletter #87: Righting the Ship with Recklessness
In the throes of the most anxious period of my life—third year of medical school—I left my house at dusk to go mountain biking. It was Sunday night, marking the end of my last day off before six more days in the hospital. I had to ride to survive another week. Mountain biking is hazardous … Continue reading Newsletter #87: Righting the Ship with Recklessness
Newsletter #86: Seeking Peace At Any Cost
Writing is rarely fun. Running is mostly hellish. Furniture is so vexing that I often want to sledgehammer dressers and coffee tables into mulch. Yet, when the essay is written, the run is complete, and the dresser is lacquered, I feel at peace. On that day, I have done what I needed to do, and … Continue reading Newsletter #86: Seeking Peace At Any Cost
Newsletter #85: How We Do One Thing Is How We Do Everything
In 2012, I read the Way of the Peaceful Warrior. I still think about its lessons, often daily, and this week, one passage in particular appeared during quiet moments between football and cranberry-sauce-covered gluttony. First though, some context. Dan, the book's protagonist (and author), is successful. At Cal Berkley in the 60s, he's an NCAA … Continue reading Newsletter #85: How We Do One Thing Is How We Do Everything
Newsletter #84: No Dream is Trivial
Three years ago, I hired a life coach because I was miserable and didn't want to feel miserable anymore. Together, we completed a litany of self-help exercises, filling notebooks with my audacious dreams and ideas. One such dream was to open a mountain "hiking hut". Essentially, a bed and breakfast for hikers that enjoy yoga … Continue reading Newsletter #84: No Dream is Trivial
Newsletter #83: The Movie Review You Never Asked For
Tuesday night, my wife and I saw Anora in theatres. As a modern Cinderella, Anora is an NYC sex worker who marries the son of a Russian oligarch after the son pays for her professional services. It's all going to be better now, she thinks. Money. Status. Security. Even... love. To what she's sought, she … Continue reading Newsletter #83: The Movie Review You Never Asked For