The nearest surf spot to our house in Santa Barbara was a point break called Leadbetter. That place terrified me. In South Orange County, I’d surfed sandbar beach breaks, which accommodated my falls with minor inconvenience. At Leadbetter, my skull could crack open on its rocky bottom. And of course, as always, there were rumors of sharks. The Santa Barbara Harbor was a half mile south of Leadbetter, and it housed our favorite restaurant, Brophy Bros. Outside the best fish and chips on the planet, next to the docked fishing boats, were signs that read “Do not disturb the Great Whites. They’re important members of the ecosystem.”
One evening, with an hour of daylight remaining, I parked at Leadbetter and watched four-to-five foot waves uncork themselves across the horizon. I was scared. I happened to be listening to a press conference by Brent Venables, the head coach of Oklahoma’s football team. He was asked about his young players, their inexperience, and how he expected them to improve in the offseason. “Fear’s normal for guys at their stage. They haven’t been here before.” He said, as I stared at consequential wave after consequential wave roll in, still rooted firmly in my driver’s seat. “But there’s only one way to deal with fear; and that’s preparation. You gotta prepare the fear out of your system.”
I’d never surfed that close to a Great White sign. I’d never surfed a rocky point break. I’d never surfed waves that big. The fear made sense; but fear was no reason to leave Leadbetter. So, with Coach Venables in my ear, I set out to prepare the fear out of my system. Ten sessions later, I was at home at Leadbetter. And I never saw a Great White.
I say all that to say this: I’m scared. I’ve never been here before. I’m writing and selling furniture for keeps. It seems most days I could lose my footing and crack my skull open on the rocky bottom. But once more, that’s no reason to stop; it’s reason to keep preparing, working, and learning. I haven’t earned my fearlessness, yet.
To livin’ a life we love,
Ryan Fightmaster, MD
