A girl—Taylor was her name—lived on my dorm floor (girls’ side) freshman year of college. Across our first year on campus, we bumped into each other hundreds of times, ran with similar friends, hung together in groups, but failed to have a bond past hello. One evening, close to the end of freshman year, we passed in the hallway, where I greeted, “Hey Taylor, what’s up?”
She stopped, demanding I pause too, and offered criticism that stuck, “Ryan, why do you always say the exact same things in the exact same ways? It’s boring. C’mon.” Then, she walked away. I, did not. Frozen. Humiliated. Eviscerated. Perhaps rude, but I knew she was right; throughout the year I’d uttered identical greetings, over and over again. Why? Well, for one, I was scared of embarrassing myself while speaking to an attractive girl, so I said the most generic, socially accepted comment possible. Two, complacency had crept in; I’d fallen asleep at the wheel, taken for granted the sacred opportunity every encounter with anyone represents.
As I opened my eyes today, that Taylor memory was my first thought. Not sure why, but I’ll take the reminder; we must stay awake, refusing to be lulled into a passive life experience following what everyone else is doing. We must zig when others zag.
Sometimes a former zig becomes a zag, that you must again zig. Once a passionate identity revealing adventure, being vegan transformed into a straight-jacket, representing simultaneously who I once was and what prevented me from becoming who I wanted to be. In longer form than my custom, I broke down my dietary misadventures in Thursday’s article Why I Stopped Being Vegan (Because I Wanted to Be Myself ), and why I now eat meat.
In my ongoing pop culture refresher course since emerging from my eight-year medicine hibernation, I went to an FKJ concert last night. What a zig it was—had no idea the greatness I was missing— and infinitudes more memorable than watching Ted Lasso Season 3 (can’t say the same for seasons 1 and 2). It was another reminder: if you wake up from the trance, stay here in the present, you never know what you’ll find and love.
In Taylor’s image this weekend, I aspire to bring curiosity to my reactions, impulses, and habits, because well, it’s ziggin’ season.
To owning a life we love,
Ryan Fightmaster, MD
(Thank you for liking, sharing, and watching the ’32 Truths’ series this week on social media. Much appreciated everyone.)
