I have a nasty habit.
It’s 4 p.m. Been a good, solid day of work. A clean sweep of the to-do list. Morning earnestness followed by afternoon diligence. At my target of improvement, I’ve stuck my arrow. And if I just tidy up my shop and prepare for the next day, I can glide into a relaxing evening with my wife, where we’ll cook dinner together and watch our favorite shows. If you’d asked me at 8 a.m. how I wanted my day to play out, I have that day in my hands.
But 4 p.m. is a delirious, dangerous hour. The window of productivity remains open, and fear tosses in a flash bang.
You haven’t done enough today Ryan! Do you really want to make it as a writer? As a small business owner? GET MORE DONE. THIS IS NOT ENOUGH.
Disoriented, I summon energy from the depths. I revisit my morning drafts. Start stripping the next chair. Schedule the next social media video. By the time I find myself cooking dinner with my wife at 7 p.m., I’m exhausted. Dinner’s a chore, tomorrow unthinkable.
To do more is to rest assured that I’ve done enough. Right? But I don’t rest assured; I rest restless.
When I do call it quits on time, like I did yesterday, and trust that I’ve done enough, it’s often because I’ve remembered what’s important—listening to my wife talk about her day while I chop vegetables—and because I’ve found a little humility and remembered that the best workday is the workday I can repeat tomorrow.
To livin’ a life we love,
Ryan Fightmaster, MD