In my early twenties, I read a self-help book. Named something like the The Happiness Project, The Happiness Revolution, or The Happy Solution. Not a bad read as I remember it, a book that I willfully read not long after turning twenty-one. I find this informative.
I remember one of its recommendations: The Breakdown. Scheduled monthly, the author suggested a day of abject meaninglessness. In bed, she perused People magazine, watched E, popped potato chips. Full send into trash food and media consumption. 9 to 5. After, she reported rejuvenation and easy reengagement with her responsibilities.
I found this whole concept pathetic. When I got tired and worn down, I wore down the tired by working even harder. I have this life approach to thank for the M.D. beside my name. And for how I felt this Tuesday.
You see, after having surgery two weeks ago, I accepted a challenge, a challenge of my own design: do not let my life change after surgery. Got two hours of physical therapy daily? Great, I’ll do that and I’ll write a new video script. Got one hand to work on furniture? Cool, let’s use it to strip, sand, and lacquer a dining room table, paint a console table, then deliver both of them in the first week after surgery. Nothing changed for two weeks. Until Tuesday morning, when I sat before my computer and tried to spell the word equilibrium—that cursed word that eliminated me in the quarterfinals of the 7th grade spelling bee—and couldn’t get close enough for spellcheck to recognize my intentions. At one point, my cat and I entered a staring contest that I won. That scared me.
I went to bed. Got under the covers. Opened the The Surfer’s Journal. Smashed tortilla chips. Napped. Watched The Wire. Wednesday morning, I woke up and found myself still incapable of spelling equilibrium, but it was spellcheckable. The Breakdown worked, which has me considering the author’s monthly appointment, or maybe, just maybe, I can stop fighting change. Either way, I’ve got choices now, neither pathetic.
To livin’ a life we love,
Ryan Fightmaster, MD
(P.S. I found the book. The Happiness Makeover by M.J. Ryan. Linked for those with an omnipotence streak.)
