Last Saturday afternoon, I was standing idly on my sidewalk, when a neighbor stopped in front of our mailbox and engaged me in conversation. Our discussion was Ashevillan, featuring commentary on our planet’s consciousness, the need for more manifestation, and a pessimistic assessment of politics. After a year of living here, these conversational themes failed to surprise, but then my neighbor railed on psychotherapy—he is not aware of my previous career, by my intention—saying, “I have friends that are therapists, and I challenge them all the time, asking, ‘What’s the point of therapy? Where are you leading these people?’ They don’t have good answers. Seems like a sham to me.”
I could’ve revealed my background, but I didn’t get the sense that anything uttered from my mouth would be greeted with curiosity, nor did I care to debate the subject by my mailbox. I like my neighbor and care to preserve our cordial relationship. So, I changed the subject to the weather—a tragic mistake that led us down a different rabbit-hole—but eventually, I was back in my house, wondering, “What is the point of therapy?”
Jung argued wholeness. DBT posits synthesis. Kohut encouraged acceptance.
The shared theme is integration: an understanding of past, discovery of its hard truths, and reconciliation, so we may move forward whole, clear, and imperfect, but undivided. Is a therapist responsible for this transformation? Here, I agree with my neighbor: no. A therapist helps in many ways, yes, but ultimately, the hard choice is always our responsibility.
Integration or division. Understanding or aversion. Compromise or hostility.
To livin’ a life we love,
Ryan Fightmaster, MD
(P.S. Seeking a jumpstart toward integration? Even though you’re a subscriber, if you drop your email here, I’ll send you my free course 7 Days of Aliveness today.)